I think I’ve picked out my baby daddy.

Well he has no family history of genetic diseases...

provided narcissism isn't inherited.

It's a site devoted to a man who is charitably giving away his sperm, free of charge for people in need of only the top notch quality. Not that stale, off-yellow, low grade sperm you get from the banks advertised in TV ads during late night reruns of Who's the Boss. No, this is the, ahem, crème de' le' crème.

You really have to click around to appreciate this one. Don't forget to check here, where you can find out the highlights of his elementary school accomplishments, including his science fair project, "Using Red Cabbage Juice to Determine Acidity." And he was quite the speller, this one.

When this handsome specimen gets requests for a donation, he probably uses a copy of his 6th grade report card ("Excellent job, Bobby. Have a great summer!") and the sight of his own reflection to get the job done.

I learned a lot about modern reproductive technology in my bioethics studies. Another time I can write a lot more about sperm donors, surrogate mothers, in vitro, egg donors, adoption, and the frighteningly controlling, shallow and perfectionist character it has all taken on. (I was quite sad when I looked on a site for people seeking egg donors, and no one wanted someone like me!)

Which leads me to this: there are some people who see children as a means to creating some perfect child to fulfill their outlandish, self-entitled fantasy. First, you don't own your children, they are people. Second, although much influenced by upbringing and environment, children are individuals whose identities unfold in front of you instead of being forcefully forged by you and your hammer of greedy, prideful lust for a trophy to show off to the relatives and neighbors. This attitude is just really disgusting. Even more disgusting than thinking of Johnny Science shooting his wad all over a bound copy of his dissertation.

And to do a 180 from that closing note, I will give to you some of the genius of Kahlil Gibran. Kahlil was good enough for my parents' wedding, so he's good enough for my blog:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.